Friday, April 1, 2011

Why I Don't Smoke Weed

Several of my friends and family smoke weed, which is extremely common here in California because it's stupidly easy to get. Since I'm really high strung, I decided that smoking might be a good way to calm myself down for a while. One of my friend's was kind enough to bring some over and let me try a couple hits to see how I liked it.

I was afraid to try it at first.

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But I figured, eh, what could go wrong? I took the first hit.

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I didn't really know what to expect...

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But then I started feeling kinda funny.

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Which quickly turned into feeling kinda awesome.

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After a few minutes, I decided that pants were a stupid idea. They made an awesome hat, though. The floor was pretty amazing. I'd never noticed how amazing it was until now.

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Then I fell deeply in love with the feel of my sectional couch. Good lord, it was soft. Wow.

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And as quickly as I had begun to feel awesome, I began to feel the exact opposite. It freaked me out a little but I tried to ignore it.

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Things started to get extremely real, in a pretty frightening sense.

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Suddenly, it hit me: I really needed to go somewhere.

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My friend had already gone home, leaving my poor boyfriend to deal with me all alone.

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Home Depot was WAAAAAAY bigger than I remembered. Like, WOAH!

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Like, I mean, like... Holy paint aisle Batman.

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Damn... so much... things...

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OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!

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My boyfriend tried to calm me down but was pretty unsuccessful so he just ended up taking me home, where I spent the rest of the day curled in a ball on the couch.

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2 comments:

  1. This is fantastic. I laughed right the way through reading. :'D

    ReplyDelete