Why I Don't Smoke Weed

Several of my friends and family smoke weed, which is extremely common here in California because it's stupidly easy to get. Since I'm really high strung, I decided that smoking might be a good way to calm myself down for a while. One of my friend's was kind enough to bring some over and let me try a couple hits to see how I liked it.

I was afraid to try it at first.



But I figured, eh, what could go wrong? I took the first hit.



I didn't really know what to expect...



But then I started feeling kinda funny.



Which quickly turned into feeling kinda awesome.



After a few minutes, I decided that pants were a stupid idea. They made an awesome hat, though. The floor was pretty amazing. I'd never noticed how amazing it was until now.



Then I fell deeply in love with the feel of my sectional couch. Good lord, it was soft. Wow.



And as quickly as I had begun to feel awesome, I began to feel the exact opposite. It freaked me out a little but I tried to ignore it.



Things started to get extremely real, in a pretty frightening sense.



Suddenly, it hit me: I really needed to go somewhere.



My friend had already gone home, leaving my poor boyfriend to deal with me all alone.



Home Depot was WAAAAAAY bigger than I remembered. Like, WOAH!



Like, I mean, like... Holy paint aisle Batman.



Damn... so much... things...



OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!



My boyfriend tried to calm me down but was pretty unsuccessful so he just ended up taking me home, where I spent the rest of the day curled in a ball on the couch.